Simply Dumb

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Manhattan man’s holiday spirits soared to celestial heights last Friday when
a judge gave him permission to change his name to Jesus Christ.

According to MyWay news, Jose Luis
Espinal, 42, of Washington Heights, said he was “happy” and “grateful”
that the judge approved the change, effective immediately. Espinal said
he was moved to seek the name change about a year ago when it dawned on
him, “I am the person that is that name.”

Espinal,
who acted as his own lawyer, got the change approved by Manhattan Civil
Court Judge Diane Lebedeff, who said she …read more

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Federal agents say a former Brevard County restaurant owner wanted to blow up a competitor but instead of going to jail, the man ended up in hospital instead.
WFTV reports that Jorge Sanchez got so agitated when investigators were interviewing him Tuesday, he said he had chest pains and wound up in the hospital.
Undercover federal agents busted 49-year-old Jorge Sanchez on Tuesday. They said he tried to buy all the ingredients of a pipe bomb, after cooking up a plot to rid himself of his perceived competition after his own restaurant, La Havana, went out of business.
“He’s very jealous, very …read more

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Instead of feeding children in third-world countries and fixing the leaky roof, a woman used money from First Church of Lansdowne collection plates to buy a shore home and breast implants.
Reports AZ Central:
“I was very dishonest and selfish,” Colleen Lacombe, 34, of Drexel Hill, told Judge Robert C. Wright tearfully.
Lacombe pleaded guilty in September to theft by deception, and made full restitution of $325,000 to the church. Wright sentenced the mother of two to two years of house arrest Tuesday, followed by two years of probation.
Lacombe embezzled the money while handling finances at the church from June 2000 until January …read more

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If you ever thought the Commies were the ultimate in dumb, new evidence proves it.
Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.
According to The Scotsman, Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia’s top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

Stalin told the scientist: “I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant …read more

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A group of 40 drunken people dressed in Santa Claus outfits went on a rampage through New Zealand’s largest city, Auckland, robbing stores, assaulting security guards and urinating from highway overpasses.
The Sydney Morning Herald reports that the rampage, dubbed “Santarchy” by newspapers, began early yesterday afternoon when the men, wearing ill-fitting Santa costumes, threw beer bottles and urinated on cars from an overpass, said Auckland Central Police’s Noreen Hegarty.
She said the men then rushed through a central city park, overturning garbage bins, throwing bottles at passing cars and spraying graffiti on office buildings.
One man climbed the mooring line of a …read more

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A senior at UMass Dartmouth was visited by federal agents two months ago, after he requested a copy of Mao Tse-Tung’s tome on Communism called “The Little Red Book.”

According to South Coast Today, two history professors at UMass Dartmouth, Brian Glyn Williams and Robert Pontbriand, said the student told them he requested the book through the UMass Dartmouth library’s interlibrary loan program.
The student, who was completing a research paper on Communism for Professor Pontbriand’s class on fascism and totalitarianism, filled out a form for the request, leaving his name, address, phone number and Social Security number. He was later visited …read more

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A student in Ukraine reportedly had to be freed by rescuers on after dropping his mobile phone down a toilet and getting his arm stuck trying to retrieve it.
According to Yahoo News, the man, a Lebanese national studying at Odessa’s State Academy of Refrigeration, was trapped for two hours before being freed, the Interfax news agency quoted local police officials as saying.
He received medical attention after being released, it added.
And don’t you just love the AP/ Yahoo graphic, for once we didn’t have to track down our own picture

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A school close to our heart.
Governor Dummer Academy school’s board of trustees have voted to shed “Dummer” and change the name to The Governor’s Academy.
Governor Dummer Academy will remain the elite institution’s legal name, but it will begin doing business under the new name July 1, 2006, the start of the new fiscal year.
“The board of trustees believes the long-term interests of the Academy are best served by implementation of this change in the school name,” board president Dan Morgan said in a statement.

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A Peruvian woman spent a month in a male prison in Argentina after she was mistaken for a man.
According to Ananova, when she was finally discovered and transferred to a women’s jail, she asked to be transferred back.
Pagina 12 newspaper reports that Carla Aguilera was arrested for robbery but told police her name was Manuel Martin Aguilar.
According to police in Buenos Aires, Mrs Aguilera was checked by several policeman but none noticed she was a woman.
A police spokesmperson said: “She looks and acts exactly like a man, it was impossible to see that she is a woman.

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A large blindfolded Santa hanging from a noose from a high tree in a man’s yard has angered homeowners in a Florida neighborhood, according to a Local 6 News report.
The Santa also has his hands and legs bound by some type of wire.
“Now the kids are sad with that, you know, because they say it’s not fair with Santa,” neighbor Tanira Giacian said. “Santa should be around bringing their gifts, looking for the gifts, and not hanging on a tree. They’re just kind of scared of that.”
Since the display was put in the tree, neighbors have called police to get …read more

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