Simply Dumb

It was stories like this for which Simply Dumb was formed… that and the Darwin Awards.  According to CNN, a woman in police custody in the Phoenix airport may have strangled herself while trying to wriggle out of her handcuffs. 
I guess they don’t have security cameras or two-way glass installed in these holding rooms like they do on TV.  Poor, poor woman.

Phoenix police were investigating Sunday how a 45-year-old woman died over the weekend while in police custody at Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport.
Carol Ann Gotbaum may have accidentally strangled herself while trying to get out of her handcuffs, Phoenix …read more

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As the Chinese government increases its clampdown on the free press and free commerce, it seems that "intimate apparel" is getting the axe.  China has just banned all radio and television ads promoting such diverse items as push-up bras, sex toys, and "figure-enhancing" underwear.
Apparently, all these things represent a grave threat to Chinese society.  According to the party’s press release:

"They not only seriously mislead consumers, harm the people’s health, pollute the social environment, and corrupt social mores, but also directly harm the credibility of public broadcasting and affect the image of the Communist Party and the government"

I never realized the …read more

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From the great anti-Apartheid crusader to the ribbon cutter at a mall, my how the proud have embarrassed themselves. I never thought I would see the day when Nelson Mandela played the two-bit role of opening a shopping complex.
In his defense, Soweto has long been in need of major economic investment and people do like to shop. This may be the economic boon the township needs to turn around its persistent poverty and provide jobs to the unemployed.
Still, it does seem a bit odd that this was the occasion the 89 year old past South African president …read more

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Everyone thought they were so clever unlocking the iPhone.  Apple is turning the tables and threatening to make them unusable in the next software update.  Enjoy your freedom while it lasts.

An Apple software update is disabling iPhones that have been unlocked by owners who wanted to choose which mobile network to use.
Earlier this week Apple said a planned update would leave the device "permanently inoperable".
Thousands of iPhone owners hacked their expensive gadget in order to unlock it for use with other mobile carriers and to run a host of unsupported programs.

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This is the oddest entertainment story I think I’ve ever happened across.  I’m sure all us ardent television watchers out there are familiar with the Geico Insurance caveman ads: "So Easy a Caveman Could Do It." 
The flustered and emotionally distraught butt end of these jokes, the cavemen themselves, have now been given an unprecendented opportunity to shine in their own television comedy pilot.  No word when the half hour show will air, but I imagine that we’ll see LOTS of product placement.
Really, what television ideas won’t networks buy these days?  Anyone catch Reaper last night. Ugh.  So much for the …read more

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I know that some Catholics take issue with condom use, but this story is more than simply dumb, it’s simply insane. 
According to the BBC, the head of the Catholic Church in Mozambique has claimed that condoms sent to his country from Europe are deliberately infected with HIV in order to "finish off the African people."  I can think of no worse combination of post-colonial paranoia and racist conspiracy theory to come out of Africa for quite some time.
Of course, this is coming from a guy who thinks that abstinence campaigns and not promoting condom use will ultimately prevent the spread …read more

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One piece of advice: don’t walk into an airport with a circuit board strapped to your sweatshirt with wires coming out all over the place.  I would think that this is just common sense.  An MIT student should really be smarter than that. 
Not that this is the first time that Boston has gotten intensely paranoid over a contrived bomb scare…
Let’s make a deal:  Security officials will be less paranoid if the general public will be a little less stupid.  Something gives me a feeling this is not going to happen… on either end.
Read all about this story from the NYTimes …read more

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The results of our most successful poll ever are in!
The “question”: Your Thoughts on Fox Censoring Sally Field’s Emmy Speech. The winning answer: “Who wants to hear celebrities’ political opinions anyway?” with 30 votes followed close behind by: “Sally Field couldn’t deliver a coherent political criticism if she tried” with 29 votes.
The public (i.e. tiny viewership of this website that bothered to vote in this innocuous poll) has spoken… This site’s viewership don’t want to hear celebrities’ political opinions any more. Put a sock in it.
For all of those who disagree, get used to it. It was …read more

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This is sort of good news for some people who rushed out to buy new computers with the Vista operating system and discovered, surprise surprise, that it is a dysfunctional piece of sh*t OS that almost makes the old Windows ME look good. I know, I’m one of them.
Unfortunately, the downgrade package is only available to Windows Vista “Business and Ultimate” users (which of course I’m not) and even then, it’s up to the computer companies to decide how to make the old XP OS available.
If you’re in the same boat, check out the article below from CNet:

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A court in the UK has sent a man convicted of speeding at 172 MPH in a 70 zone to ten weeks in prison, or as the Brits would say, gaol. This is apparently the fastest speeder ever caught in the British Isles in a routine traffic check.
How unsurprised I am to hear that he was caught driving a red Porche that he "borrowed" without permission from a dealership at which he works.  Not sure if its a midlife crisis or just insane thrill-seeking, but this guy was going really really fast!
Read all about it from the BBC …read more

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