Simply Dumb

Yet another toy recall from Chinese products using lead paint.  I’m afraid this one is just too little, too late. 
According to reports, this "in the mouth" costume contains 100 times the allowable amount of lead!  That’s bound to do some damage.
 The story also says that these things have been on the market since January 2006, so I guess we have two issues: 1) if they are really harmful how many people have been poisoned? and 2) WHAT TOOK SO FREAKIN’ LONG TO ANNOUNCE THIS?
If you plan on wearing "ugly teeth" described below tonight, don’t.  If you already are, spit ‘em …read more

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Your hero and mine, satirist Steven Colbert, apparently does not have the necessary cash to run as a Republican in the South Carolina presidential primary.  The cost is $35,000!!! 
Running as a Democrat requires a mere $2500 or 3000 signatures, but for each candidate on the ballot, the state party is required to pay the state election commission $20,000.  For the most part, members of the Democratic caucus have no interest in allowing Colbert in their primary.  One council member said it best:

"Over my dead body will Colbert’s name be on the ballot."

Pretty damn blunt.  While Colbert may be serious about …read more

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Check out this incredibly odd story from Yahoo News.  Oh yeah, and Happy Halloween.

Passengers on a German train mistook a Halloween reveller dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim and called the police.
The 24-year-old man fell into a drunken slumber on his way home from a Halloween party in Hamburg, police in the northern town of Bad Segeberg said on Monday.
Believing his hands and face were smeared with blood, passengers alerted police after getting no response from him.
A first aid team called to the scene soon cleared up the confusion. Police told the man to …read more

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We’ve been hearing quite a lot in the news recently about how top officials are suspecting that arsonists started many of the blazes that turned into the enormous California wildfires which have forced thousands of people from their homes and caused untold amounts of environmental and property damage near Los Angeles. 
Needless to say and certainly with good reason people are really pissed off.  The bellicose language employed by the Governator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, almost even parallels the "with us or against us" rhetoric of the war on terrorism.  But how do Arnie’s threats to "hunt down and punish" those responsible …read more

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I’m not sure how new this feature is on CNN, but someone there got the bright idea of regularly collecting 10 hard hitting questions to help students think more critically about the news. 
This week’s "Student News" questions are real keepers.  The first eight are actually kind of impressive, but degenerate pretty quickly when you hit the last two.  Somehow they slide from asking about security challenges facing the US military in Iraq to "What’s the best Halloween costume that you have ever seen?" 
Discuss critically…
***UPDATE:  Check out CNN’s latest questions… Much better on the second shot. ***

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I’m not really sure what to make of this story.  While I’m certainly no fan of having my house robbed (it’s happened before), I’m not sure how comfortable I am about people having the blanket legal right to shoot intruders on sight. 
Maybe it’s the mushy liberal in me, but the thought of empowering rifle-totting suburbanites to use lethal force gives me the creeps.  Yes, I know they’re breaking into your house and yes, I know they may try to harm you.  At the same time, I am reminded of the statistic that gun owners are more likely to die from …read more

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The Onion’s new atlas: Our Dumb World, is now available for preorder at Amazon.  Looking through some of the preview pages, this is definitely a must-have for all you real-world satire buffs out there. 
From "Chile: Keeping Argentina from Enjoying the Pacific Ocean Since 1818" to "The United States: The Land of Opportunism," this fun collection is bound to offend everyone and everything.  It’s not to early to think about your Christmas gifts…
Here’s what the staff at The Onion have to say about their new book:

Our Dumb World: The Onion’s Atlas Of The Planet Earth is destined to become the …read more

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In more dumb Harry Potter news, the French daily left-wing newspaper Liberation has declared that everyone’s favorite prepubescent wizard represents the vanguard of intellectual power against the materialist "muggle" masses.
I guess with continuous failures to capture national political rule in France, the socialist left has had to find new ways to stay in the public eye.  Maybe latching onto popular children’s fiction is the way to go?  But just can’t read this with a straight face…

"Reading it, one has the feeling that J.K. Rowling feels, like many cultivated English people, that there was a real, catastrophic Thatcherite revolution, and that …read more

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Needless to say, this must have been an awkward moment for Craig S. McCullough. 
Found by federal agents in his office building’s restroom with his pants down cradling an inflatable sex doll, he was charged with indecent exposure.  Gee, can’t a guy get it on with his imaginary girlfriend in a public restroom anymore?
Seriously though, this is at least the second time this guy has been caught doing inappropriate things with inanimate members of the opposite sex.  Apparently in 2004 he burglarized a bridal boutique stealing a full mannequin wearing a wedding dress.
If you find this funny, maybe you’d also …read more

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William Shatner is reportedly disappointed that he has not been asked to be in the new Star Trek movie set for release in December 2008.  His old buddy, Leonard Nimoy, however, will be reprising his role as an aged Spock. 
Why do you think Shatner got the axe?  I have a few guesses:
First off, we’ve all heard about what a self-centered ass ole’ Bill can be on set.  Very few of the old Star Trek cast liked working with him.  I’m not at all surprised that the new cast and crew would have little interest in putting up with his antics.
Secondly, …read more

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