Man Arrested Having Sex with Bicycle
10 points to the first person who can tell me how someone can have sex with a bicycle. Actually, scratch that, I don’t want to know.
I’m sure that’s what room cleaners at a hostel in Britain thought when they walked in on a 51-year-old tenant molesting his two-wheeler.
The man has been chared with "sexually aggrevated breach of the peace." Now, as strange and gross as this is, given that he was doing it in the room that he was paying for, should the law really have any say here? What a man does with his bike behind closed doors is his own damn business. Ick.
A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.
Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.
Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.
Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.
Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’."
Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.
The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.
He now lives in Ayr.
source Tags: dumb news, bicycle sex, sexually aggrevated breach of the peace, uk
Related Stories
POSTED IN: Dumb Criminals, Dumb Pictures, Just Weird
7 opinions for Man Arrested Having Sex with Bicycle
Allison
Nov 14, 2007 at 7:23 pm
Ok, that is one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard.
But I have to agree with you - unless he was like, being loud or something, why should the law tell him that he can’t romance his bike? *shrug*
vitaliy
Nov 14, 2007 at 10:32 pm
did he put the paddle up his @ss?!!!
OJB
Nov 14, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Now that is a bit strange, but I agree that I can’t see a good reason why it should be taken so seriously that he’s sentenced to probation.
Jared
Nov 15, 2007 at 12:47 am
hahah thats great i would never try that, probably would hurt, now thats how you know that you should try some new pick up lines
CKat
Nov 15, 2007 at 12:58 am
I don’t find a guy having sex with ANYTHING hard to believe and the bicycle… well, I hardly think it minded. I wonder if something like this could happen in the USA? He was in his own private space and the help intruded in on him…. although sodomy is still on the books in many places as an illegal act anywhere…. hmmmmm…. I love my bike, too but I guess now FOR SURE, it’ll remain a strictly platonic relationship…. peddle on people!
Justo
Nov 15, 2007 at 4:37 am
I have to give the guy credit for thinking up such a bizarre sex object. And here I thought I’d heard it all.
Petr
Nov 16, 2007 at 8:59 am
Clearly a pedalphile, or maybe a bicyxsual.
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: