Simply Dumb

It looks like someone desperately wants to get into the Playboy Mansion. He can’t get enough info on TV (Girls Next Door) or the magazine? He wants to see some boobs up close and in person? Try the beach, dude. You’ll have better luck.
A Ventura County man rammed his auto into the gates at the mansion not once, but twice in a week. It’s possible these incidents are part of a larger dispute, but police wouldn’t give any details.
No one but the gate was injured in the two accidents. The first time, the man was arrested and released. But the …read more

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A woman in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina lost her cat. Not just any cat. This guy, Sylvester, was 17 years old. And he was found over 1,000 miles away in Quebec.
The poor cat was practically starving. He was missing bits of hair and his nose was scabbed and bloody. And he limped. Sounds like he got into some serious cat fights along the way. But the cat was still friendly enough that a Montreal resident was able to approach Sylvester and get the phone number off of his collar.
The cat’s owner, Janet Nease, went all the way to Montreal to …read more

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A Baptist minister in Tucson has created a bit of controversy after he announced plans to deliver a series of sermons about sex. Sending out 35,000 fliers to promote the series may just have a little bit to do with it. That, and a web site claiming “God wants you to have great sex.”
His church has received phone calls complaining that this subject isn’t exactly appropriate for a church to talk about. But the preacher plans to give the talks anyway, hoping it will get people talking about a normally taboo subject (taboo in churches, that is).
The sermons will only …read more

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Gawker brings us news of perhaps the biggest mainstream media gaffe of the year. Bloomberg financial newswire updated its 17-page obituary of Apple founder Steve Jobs and somehow inadvertently published it. This happened despite the news story bearing markers saying “Hold for Release” and “Do Not Use.”
It’s a pretty common, if not a little morbid, practice for news organizations to prepare obits well in advance of celebrities’ actual death to save time. That’s particularly the case with mammoth opuses like Jobs’ 17-page obit, almost approaching the length of a biographic novel.
In addition to publishing the obit, Bloomberg also accidentally published …read more

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There is a very fine line between toughing your way through an injury and well, ending up on this site. The San Diego Union Tribune reports star Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman has a torn posterior cruciate ligament and lateral collateral ligament in his left knee.
The team advised him to get surgery immediately after they got eliminated from the playoffs. He opted not to because – well, only Shawne really knows why he didn’t. Not one, two or three but four doctors have advised him he needs the surgery yesterday and can risk his career by playing.

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We’re not sure what to say about this next story. Mostly it just leaves us shaking our heads, wondering what is wrong with people. Or wondering if someone should have been spanked more as a child. Something like that.
A teenager in Palm Bay, Florida reacted violently to what most of us would consider a fairly minor incident. A 15-year-old kid gets on computer, finds out that his access privileges had been changed by his older brother. You could expect a little annoyance, a little anger, right?
This boy took it to a whole new level. He started throwing things, and then …read more

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As a resident of the Dallas area I have long since quit fooling with the overpriced rides at the Texas State Fair. No, the real ride here is the sugar rush you’ll get from the fair’s infamous confections.
The event takes Southern cuisine to a whole ‘nother level of decadence. The Houston Chronicle reports on the finalists for the annual Big Tex Choice Awards to determine the best fried food. Those distinguished dishes include deep fried s’mores, a fried banana split, fried chocolate truffles, a fried grilled cheese sandwich and the piece de resistance, fried Jelly Belly jellybeans.
If your arteries haven’t …read more

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Ok, does Roseanne have a point to prove or is she just another celebrity starved for attention? On her blog, placed ever so lovingly in between recipes and her random musings on life, rails against Brad and Angelina, their adopted children and Angelina’s estranged dad Jon Voight.
“Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair …read more

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A Chicago man claims he got a 9-foot tapeworm from undercooked fish. So he’s suing the restaurant where he ate the meal.
Anthony Franz ate salmon salad one day for lunch at Shaw’s Crab House. He said he got violently ill, and later passed the parasite. I do not want to imagine passing a 9-foot tapeworm, thank you very much. Apparently he took the tapeworm to a pathologist, who determined it came from undercooked fish, like salmon.
So he’s suing for $100,000, insisting that the restaurant was negligent in serving undercooked fish. Of course, the restaurant is certain that the tapeworm didn’t …read more

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The Obama-Clinton conflict that neither side is willing to admit is happening is center stage at the Democratic National Convention. Bloomberg reports that Sen. Hillary Clinton spoke about keeping the party together and threw her support behind Obama.
Rumor has it a few people actually even believed it. CNN’s Jack Cafferty is among those who doesn’t think they can pull it together, even going so far as to say that not picking Hillary as the vice president may cost Obama the election. Cafferty also joked about the Obama camp placating the Clintons by allowing them to speak Tuesday and Wednesday night, …read more

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