Chad Johnson Changes Name to Number

Thank God I'm Famous Party Hosted by Lil' Wayne, Ludacris and Young Jeezy

If we were to pick an athletic mascot for Simply Dumb, it would be hard to do better than the Cincinnati Bengals’ Chad Johnson.  ESPN has reported that the talented but eccentric wide receiver has legally changed his name to his nickname, Ocho Cinco.

That’s right, Chad Johnson’s legal name is now Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. Johnson hung the nickname on himself two seasons ago and even put it on his game jersey. That’s a violation of NFL rules, by the way. If you let guys start putting whatever they want to on their jersey, you end up with another He Hate Me.

After that incident, Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis referred to him as “Ocho Psycho.” Johnson seems to be unraveling at a rate that makes even Terrell “I Love Me Some Me” Owens seem quite normal by comparison.

Asked by the Bengals’ website to explain himself, Johnson called his name change “something no one’s ever done before,” and asked if he ever had a reason for doing what he does. If he does have a reason, he’s not sharing it with the rest of the world.

Johnson demanded a trade during the offseason and during this preseason temporarily dislocated his left shoulder. Simply Dumb is still investigating the rumor that the Bengals general manager has legally changed his name to There Is No Way In Hell We Will Ever Be Able to Trade This Nincompoop.

3 Responses to “Chad Johnson Changes Name to Number”

  1. September 10th, 2008 | 8:09 pm

    [...] Sports reported on the ridiculousness of Chad Johnson’s legal name change to his nickname Ocho Cinco. Well, legally he can call himself anything he wants (you don’t want to know what some NFL [...]

  2. October 29th, 2008 | 10:50 am

    [...] we make it up when there is more than enough of “teh crazy” to go around? There are all kinds of crazy name-changing stories. Here’s one more for [...]

  3. December 4th, 2008 | 10:36 am

    [...] Johnson had established what seemed to be an insurmountable lead in becoming Simply Dumb’s Athlete of the Year. But then Plaxico (pronounced Plex-i-Co or if you prefer, Blithering Idiot) Burress went and [...]


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