W, Can You Spare A Pardon?
With President George Bush’s term winding down, Reuters reports a few famous faces are seeking the grace of a presidential pardon. They include Marion “I Had No Idea That Was Steroids Causing My Muscles to Swell Up” Jones and the American Taliban himself, John Walker Lindh.
Yeah, I have no idea why John Walker Lindh bothered. The American Taliban has about as much chance of getting a pardon from The Decider as Nick Nolte has of getting voted The Sexiest Man Alive next year. Ask any Texas Death Row inmate about the odds of getting a pardon from W. Lindh should consider himself fortunate he hasn’t gone before a firing squad yet.
And I don’t know what Marion is thinking. She won’t even admit that she knowingly took steroids. I’m not the president (as Simply Dumb’s grassroots election campaign didn’t go off this year) but it seems like any pardon should require her to at least admit wrongdoing. Athletes don’t put substances into their body they know nothing about. And truth be told, a lot of pro athletes know as much about pharmaceuticals as any doctor could ever hope to.
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POSTED IN: Political Stupidity
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