Simply Dumb

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It is going to be hard to pick out the biggest dummy. But that’s why we have help from you readers. In 2009, Simply Dumb will open its inaugural class in the Hall of Lame.
The nomination process begins as soon as you finish reading this sentence. Obviously everyone that’s been featured for their dumb exploits on our blog is eligible. But we’re certainly not limiting it to stories we’ve covered. You can nominate celebrities that just don’t get how privileged they are, athletes who ran the wrong way for a touchdown, or any of the numerous …read more

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We’re constantly hearing about high-speed police chases where someone runs from the cops and is pursued all over the place in an attempt to capture said person. Because if somebody runs, they have something to hide.
So it tickled our funny bone just a little bit to hear of a low-speed chase in northern Australia. With golf carts. Turns out that a group of boys grabbed a golf cart from a resort and took it for a joy ride. So two resort employees gave chase. In another cart.
We picture an OJ-esque chase down the street in super-slow-mo as the resort employees …read more

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Just in case you can’t get enough of Amy Winehouse, we have something for you. And you’re gonna love it. No, really.
Amy Winehouse legos.
C’mon, what’s not to love? You can stage your own Amy arrests. Put on some Amy concerts. Re-enact your favorite Amy Winehouse moment.
You know you want it. Admit it.
Watch CBS Videos Online

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About as soon as Sarah Palin hit the national spotlight, people began remarking on her uncanny resemblance to 30 Rock star Tina Fey. Fey came back to SNL this weekend and totally nailed the comedy world’s most anticipated impression, with partner in crime Amy Poehler playing Hillary Clinton.
After this she has to stick for the remainder of the campaign. It’s her civic duty. Even though we’re a “dumb” news site we can appreciate some smart lady comics making this election cycle a lot more enjoyable. Can’t wait to see where they go with the “Lipstick on a Pig” controversy.
CBS News …read more

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We really could not make this stuff up, readers. The Dallas Morning News reports that on Sept. 3 a man in a wheelchair entered a Dallas 7-Eleven, rolled straight toward the cash register and began hitting it with a baseball bat.
Oh, but wait.  Instead of cash, the suspect stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink before making his getaway, Dallas police Cpl. Kevin Janse told the News.  He said the culprit may have been homeless and probably intoxicated at the time. Or he was on his way to one hell of a party.
Man, don’t …read more

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As a resident of the Dallas area I have long since quit fooling with the overpriced rides at the Texas State Fair. No, the real ride here is the sugar rush you’ll get from the fair’s infamous confections.
The event takes Southern cuisine to a whole ‘nother level of decadence. The Houston Chronicle reports on the finalists for the annual Big Tex Choice Awards to determine the best fried food. Those distinguished dishes include deep fried s’mores, a fried banana split, fried chocolate truffles, a fried grilled cheese sandwich and the piece de resistance, fried Jelly Belly jellybeans.
If your arteries haven’t …read more

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The organizers of the Olympics have given out free condoms to athletes at every event since 1992 to raise AIDS awareness. They ran out in Sydney and doubled the number in Athens, according to Reuters. This time, they’re hoping 100,000 condoms will be enough to satiate the 10,500 athletes.
Hey, exactly what kind of training is going on over there? I quote Mick from the Rocky films:Women weaken legs, Rock! The Reuters story notes that the Olympic village is full of young, beautiful people who don’t have a whole lot to do after getting knocked out of the games. Once …read more

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In London, a man was found guilty of sending a birthday present to his ex-girlfriend’s sister-in-law. Along the lines of Godfather, she was sent a severed animal’s head. A pig, in fact.
The jury found the man, Martin Anderson, guilty of perpetrating a hate campaign against the poor woman. So much so that she feared some sort of violence.
Kim Teague told the court that the package contained a severed pig’s head with “RIP” on its forehead. The package had been gift-wrapped. Oh, and she also got phone calls where someone was snorting like a pig.
It’s almost funny, really. But probably …read more

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There’s a new dolphin in town. Okay, scratch that. Scientists have discovered a new species of dolphin. It has been dubbed the world’s ugliest dolphin due to its bulbous head. It’s unique to the waters near Australia and this is a breakthrough discovery.
The dolphin was originally thought to be the declining irrawaddy dolphin. It was hard to distinguish because they are quite shy and run away from human contact. But some lucky researchers stumbled across them and even got some footage:

Poor little dolphin, everyone hating on him because he has a funny face and big nose. Not everyone can be …read more

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