Simply Dumb

Last week, Simply Dumb Sports reported on the ridiculousness of Chad Johnson’s legal name change to his nickname Ocho Cinco. Well, legally he can call himself anything he wants (you don’t want to know what some NFL fans are calling him) but if he wants to change his game jersey he’s got to pay.
CNBC’s Darren Rovell explains the problem here. If Chad wants to be Ocho Cinco on his game jersey, he would have to buy the remaining Chad Johnson jerseys from Reebok, who makes the NFL’s jerseys. That could cost nearly $5 million by some estimates. Since a …read more

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Poland is just a wee bit different than the United States, especially in terms of consumer product fascination. In the US, when the iPhone came out there was a feeding frenzy. People waited in line all night to spend their hard-earned money on a temperamental piece of technology. And the lines were long here in the US.
But not so in Poland. The Apple stores will have actors form a fake queue so passersby will hopefully be interested in what’s going on. It’s all about the buzz, you know.
So Poland’s largest mobile carrier is paying actors to stand in front …read more

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Image details: Judge Rules That Naked Cowboy Can Sue M&M’s Over Perceived Endorsement served by picapp.com

New York’s Naked Cowboy may just become the $6 million man if his suit against Mars Inc. comes to fruition. He’s suing the maker of M&Ms for trademark infringement.
Robert Burck has strutted around Times Square in a cowboy hat, boots, and tighty-whiteys while strumming his guitar for about 10 years now. Just about everyone who’s seen shots of Times Square or been there is familiar with the Naked Cowboy.
M&Ms apparently tried to take advantage of that by making video billboards with a blue M&M dressed …read more

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Three, yes count ‘em three, couples got married this Valentine’s Day in one extra special White Castle burger joint in Columbus, Ohio. 
Making their experience even more…um…special was a flower girl throwing salt and pepper packages at the newlyweds instead of rice and the grooms wearing official White Castle employee nametags on their lapels.  To top it all off, the couples celebrated with a wedding cake shaped like three “slyder” burgers, fries, and a pop.
Was there a catch?  I think so…  A local radio show broadcast the nuptials and paid for the flowers and other arrangements. 
Let me lay …read more

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I have every respect for vegetarians and could never condone the mistreatment of animals, but this latest PETA campaign is just a bit over the top. 
The State of Kentucky is considering a measure which would declare fried chicken from the Colonel’s own Kentucky Fried Chicken the state’s official picnic food.  While I think it’s more than a bit obnoxious to give that kind of official recognition to any particularly business, the folks over at the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are taking it up a notch.  They charge that the chicken KFC serves are abused and …read more

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Volume 5 of Adult Swim’s original series, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, has just been released in stores, but we here at Simply Dumb want to give you a chance to get it for FREE! 

Thanks to our friends over at M80 marketing, we have two DVD sets to give away to two lucky readers.  All you have to do is leave a comment on this post. We’ll select the winners by random draw this Friday, February 8 at 5:00 PM CST.
The two DVDs include 14 uncut episodes and 11 bonus features including the uncensored Dickesode, the Worst Game Ever, and …read more

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I would say that most of the time I have a great deal of respect for Republican presidential contender John McCain. 
Unlike many of the other folks in the race from both parties, he has been relatively consistent in his policies and political views, quite bipartisan in his approach to passing legislation, and unafraid of taking a principled stand against party and government policy he deems irresponsible. 
I was also under the impression that he has mostly avoided the sort of negative campaigning which makes presidential races so unbearable every four years.  Well, an advertisement banner I saw atop my …read more

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The city of Fort Worth, Texas has begun it’s own crusade to discourage teenagers from wearing baggy pants.  Following the example of Atlanta, Georgia and various municipalities in Louisiana, the city council will vote tomorrow whether or not to officially support the "Pull ‘Em Up" educational campaign begun late last year in Dallas.
Not nearly as draconian as Atlanta’s law against sagging baggy pants, this Texan city is hoping that city-wide billboards featuring cartoonish images of grandmothers will be enough to shame kids into wearing clothes that fit.  Says Dallas City Councilperson Dwaine Caraway:
Grandmothers are the most respected and …read more

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The anti-social networking revolution has begun! Thanks to our friend Jason over at MWDaily, we’ve come across a fantastic Facebook mini-app that allows you to finally tell your enemies as well as your friends what you really think about them: Enemybook.
This cool little time waster allows you to add enemies as well as friends on Facebook. Just like when adding friends, this application allows you to detail exactly how you know the person and came to be their enemy. And what’s more, instead of poking them, you can flip them off. hehe.
Now last night my wife forced …read more

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It’s not often that a piece of spam turns out to be legitimately educational.  Did you know that Sir William Herschel, a British scientist, was the first to identify Uranus as a planet in 1781?  Of couse, as with all spam, there’s a catch.  At the beginning and end of the message, it discretely links to a porno site and an advertisement for a viagra-class product.  My telescope is just fine thank you…

from Cickemede:  Herschel’s music led him to an interest in mathematics, and thence to astronomy. This interest grew stronger after 1773, and he built some telescopes and made …read more

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