MSNBC reports some German firefighters were pumping water out of a flooded apartment in Essen Friday when they got the shock of their lives in the form of a three-meter long python.

Apparently a water pipe burst, flooding the vacant apartment and prompting somebody to call firefighters.

Police were unable to contact the tenant and were unsure what the python was doing in the apartment, on the bathroom window sill. They took the snake into custody. Wonder who gets the fun job of interrogating the slithery suspect? Readers, do you have any bizarre animal stories to tell?

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The poor cat was practically starving. He was missing bits of hair and his nose was scabbed and bloody. And he limped. Sounds like he got into some serious cat fights along the way. But the cat was still friendly enough that a Montreal resident was able to approach Sylvester and get the phone number off of his collar.

The cat’s owner, Janet Nease, went all the way to Montreal to pick him up and take him to a vet. Aw, now that’s some real kitty love right there. Nease had just about given up hope of seeing her cat when she got the call that someone had found him.

She doesn’t know how he got 1,000 miles away, but thought maybe he hid in a vehicle from a nearby campground, which just happened to be one of his favorite hideouts.

Sylvester was fed intravenously and given some antibiotics for his poor little paw, which was infected.

Image: Newscom

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The penguin is a flightless, but apparently noble bird. BBC News reported that a king penguin known as Nils Olav has been knighted by the Norwegian King’s Guard. He is the third member of his family to ascend to Norwegian nobility. No, we’re not kidding. The original penguin was named after Nils Egelien, the lieutenant who initially picked him to be the group’s mascot in 1972, and Norway’s-then King Olav V.

The current Nils Olav received a promotion to honorary colonel-in-chief in 2005, en route to his knighthood. Don’t you just know there’s some poor guy who has been trying to get knighted for 10 years and not only are they not giving him the time of day, they pushed a penguin ahead of him in the line. I hope this penguin has good bodyguards.

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The tuatara is a reptile considered to be one of the last remaining remnants of the dinosaurs. It’s a good thing his ancestors weren’t this good at reproduction or they’d have the run of the place. Henry and his younger mate Mildred (a spry lass between 70 and 80) have a dozen eggs after mating at New Zealand’s Southland Museum. The tuatara curator said Henry hadn’t had any interest in sex until a cancerous growth was removed from his genitalia. Gee, imagine that. I don’t imagine too many lady tuataras were interested before then either.

Henry is now living the good life with not one, not two, but three lady friends. Geez, this wrinkled old reptile is just like Hugh Hefner. Well, except Henry is younger.

Image by Dick Dangerous licensed under Creative Commons.

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A woman was riding a donkey with her 7-year-old niece when a lion jumped out and attacked the donkey’s legs. Afraid the lion was going to attack her niece, the woman repeatedly struck at the lion. With a machete.

The lion ran away. It was eventually sedated, but not before it killed two dogs and ate a pig. (Mmmm, bacon – even lions can’t resist it.) The animal had escaped from a private zoo.

Not the first time animals have escaped zoos. Anyone else think that maybe zoos aren’t such a good thing anymore? I admit, we went as children and there were animals we would have never seen without it. But still, not so sure about them anymore.

Image: Newscom

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Firefighters in Washington state actually helped a couple of men who brought their cat into the station. While they were camping, their cat lodged its head into a jar. They got home and there he was, running around with the jar stuck on. They weren’t even sure how long he’d been that way or how he even managed to get his head in there.

Sounds like one dumb cat. Although, I remember when my cat got her head stuck in a clear plastic jug. It wasn’t a terribly tight fit, so she wasn’t in any danger. After I stopped laughing, the first thing I did was run and grab the camera. Then I helped her out. Priorities, people.

The aforementioned Washington cat was freed after the firefighters lubricated the jar opening. We’re not sure why the cat’s owners didn’t try that themselves, but at least the poor animal was okay after that. Cats are way too curious for their own good. Do you own a cat? What’s the dumbest thing you’ve seen it do?

Image: SarahR89 (cc)

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Trouble

This court decision became official April 30 but was just made public Monday. The dog’s caretaker (who pulls down a $60,000 salary for his duties) said the $2 million figure would be sufficient to take care of the dog for 10 years. That’s good to know, we wouldn’t want the little critter to suffer.

Trouble has unwittingly been living up to its name since inheriting the Helmsley millions. The dog had to be moved from the 28-room estate it lived at in Connecticut after receiving death threats because of all the publicity it got for its inheritance. Trouble was flown under an assumed name to a Helmsley property in Florida. Sheesh, it’s a doggie witness protection program.

Image courtesy of Newscom.

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Experts say even more unusual than the single horn is its central positioning, just like the mythical one-horned horse. Generally a one-horned deer would have the horn on one of the sides of its head, closer to where it would appear if the animal had two horns. Nature experts are saying such an anomaly might have even been responsible for spawning the unicorn myth centuries ago.

This now world famous deer has of course earned the nickname “Unicorn.” To our knowledge though, it has no healing, wish-granting or other magical powers. Repeated questions about where Rainbow Brite is have gone unanswered as well.

Image courtesy of Elephant_Mom 2003 licensed under Creative Commons.

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A deer made its way into a Philadelphia suburb’s hair salon, crashing through the glass door and heading for patrons. A man said the deer looked like it was headed straight for his son, so he did what any dad would do — he wrestled the deer to the ground and tried to subdue it.

Unfortunately for the man, disoriented deer are pretty strong and it threw him off. But he managed to trap it in a back room until the police arrived. The deer had to be euthanized because of a broken jaw.

Boy, that’s something you certainly don’t expect when you go for a haircut. Deer wrestling. Sounds like a new sport, doesn’t it?

Image: Newscom

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Image details: Alligator eye served by picapp.com

As if finding an alligator in the back window of a car wasn’t enough. A 69-year-old Florida woman found an 8-foot-long alligator in her kitchen. What, did he have the munchies?

The woman thinks the gator pushed through the back porch screen door and then just walked in through the open sliding glass door to the house. But the door doesn’t go straight into her kitchen. Oh, no. The gator went through the living room, down the hall, and THEN into the kitchen.

There was a bit of a scuffle with Animal Capture of Florida before the alligator was captured. No one was hurt, except the gator, who was cut by a plate that fell to the ground. During the fracas, of course. Man, what is it with the gators recently? We may have earthquakes, fires, and mudslides in California, but we don’t find gators stalking our kitchen. Thankfully.

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