Simply Dumb

It seems like everyone is looking for a government handout these days. With money being thrown at flailing industries left and right, with little oversight or control, it’s no wonder that more people are wanting to put a hand in the till.
So who better to step up and ask for assistance than Larry Flynt from Hustler? Flynt, along with Joe “Girls Gone WIld” Francis plan to request a $5 billion bailout for the adult entertainment industry. Yes, the pornmakers want some (more) of your money, too.
Actually the porn industry claims that they’ve been hurt by the economic downturn, as we …read more

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So with their hats in hand and their hybrids under their butts, the Not-So-Big Three returned to Washington for financial help last week. Good call on not taking the private jets this time, guys.
It shouldn’t come as a shock to us the auto industry needs a bailout. They’ve been cranking out Hummers and PT Cruisers for years now with little regard to fuel efficiency. These vehicles are the automotive equivalent of platform shoes and bellbottoms. They were hot for a minute, but a couple of years later you look back and wonder what the hell you …read more

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An Arkansas couple is suing a Fayetteville McDonald’s after some photos were lifted off of their cell phone.
Phillip Sherman left his cell phone at a McDonald’s back in July. He called the restaurant and was assured that they would secure his phone until he could return. But before he could retrieve the phone, nude pictures of his wife were taken and posted online.
Sherman’s wife, Tina, started receiving calls and text messages about the pics, which is when she learned they had been posted. Along with her name, address, and phone number. Yikes.
The Shermans are suing the restaurant, McDonald’s Corp., …read more

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I’m no PR major – I opted for the less financially sound but very rewarding field of journalism. Sigh. But it seems like if you’re going to jaunt on over to Washington to beg for $25 billion in taxpayer money, you might not want to take your expensive private jet.
The chief execs for the Big Three automakers came under fire after an ABC News report revealed they flew to Washington (while seeking financial aid from the government) in private jets. GM CEO Richard Wagoner’s flight alone cost an estimated $20,000. GM alone would like $10-12 billion.
Members of …read more

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While wondering exactly how much money our government has to bail out large corporations, it’s worth looking at how we got here.
Yahoo Finance has a very interesting piece about the 10 Cars That Sank Detroit. I owned a couple of these and the Hummer was not one of them. Even when gas was under $2 a gallon, that thing just seemed gaudy and unnecessary to me. Great car for a rapper, not so much for normal folk.
But you know what? We’ve got to stop giving these companies billion dollar handouts. If they want some money, let them earn it. …read more

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If you have a weak stomach, you may just want to move along from this story, folks. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
A man and his wife plan to sue a Sydney pub after they were served gelato with frozen fecal matter in it. Yes, even the state government food minister confirmed that the chocolate gelato contained feces. The wife became “violently ill” after eating it.
Reportedly, the couple complained to the pub because they couldn’t hear a televised football game – too much loud music. The gelato was sent to placate them. And this wasn’t just any hotel, but one of …read more

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Or, next time maybe you should check that shipment a bit more closely.
A store in Britain quickly removed a shipment of walking sticks from store shelves when they found that sticks serve double-duty as swords. A customer reported the find and TK Maxx rushed to get rid of the offending items.
The man that discovered the sword wondered why the walking stick his partner gave him seemed a bit heavy. He claimed he got the fright of his life when he found the blade.
Was there no labeling on this product to indicate that it was a weapon and not just a …read more

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We wonder, what do children dream of doing when they grow up? Firefighter, astronaut, musician, magician, president. Toilet paper researcher? Maybe not.
But there really is such a thing. And a team of t.p. researchers (yes! there’s more than one!) have created a 3-ply toilet paper. Because 3-ply is better than 2-ply right?
Researchers at George Pacific came up with the idea and it launched as part of their Quilted Northern line of products. The target audience for this ‘innovation’ – women over 45 who view their bathroom as “sanctuary” for their “quality time.” I’m trying not to snort here.
Hey, it’s cool …read more

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If you’re a PETA member, I’m really sorry. Over the last decade or so this group has sadly become irrelevant, ridiculous and just plain stupid. Their recent exploits are no exception.
The group asked Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to use breast milk instead of cow’s milk in their ice cream products. The problem is, they’re usually serious when they pull bizarre stunts like this.
After a Swiss restaurant owner decided to substitute breast milk for about 75% of the cow’s milk in his restaurant’s food, PETA decided – in their own way – it was common sense to suggest to Ben …read more

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Tommy Lee Jones, who has played everyone from Loretta Lynn’s husband in Coal Miner’s Daughter to a secret agent in MIB to a sheriff in No Country for Old Men, is suing Paramount Pictures for more than $10 million. He says he is owed the money for his work in No Country.
Jones claims that he originally received a reduced fee for the movie, but was promised more money depending on how well the movie did. The movie won four Oscars and raked in over $160 million.
We think that would qualify as successful, but Hollywood’s funny that …read more

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