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Simply Dumb

Archive for the ‘Dumb Sports’ Category

May 10th, 2008

Baltimore Ravens Battle Royal in Practice

The Baltimore Ravens didn’t hit very hard in their 5-11 2007 campaign that got Brian Billick fired as their head coach. They may make it up this year as today almost all 85 players were involved in a brawl that started between offensive tackle Oniel Cousins and defensive tackle Amon Gordon.
Running back Allen Patrick […]

By brian -- 0 comments

May 7th, 2008

Yankees-Red Sox Tiff Ends in Death

I love my baseball as much as the next guy, but this is the definition of ridiculous. Reuters reports that on Monday New York Yankees fan Ivonne Hernandez, 43, was accused of running down two Boston Red Sox fans with her car. One of them died and the other was injured.
According to prosecutors Hernandez was […]

By brian -- 0 comments

April 28th, 2008

Howard Isn’t Smokin’ On The Court

Image details: New Orleans Hornets v Dallas Mavericks - Game Four served by picapp.com
You know what would make Dallas Mavericks fans forget how dumb it was for Josh Howard to promote his offseason marijuana during interviews at playoff time? Handling up in the series’ pivotal Game 4 Sunday night.
Howard didn’t help his case as he […]

By brian -- 0 comments

February 17th, 2008

The Pats Win the Super Bowl…in Nicaragua

Before every major sporting event in the United States, apparel companies are careful to mass produce t-shirts, sweatshirts, and hats proclaiming the champions of the game before the outcome is ever decided. 
This way, when fans come tearing out of the stadium or off their couches, the realtors will immediately have crap to sell them.  […]

By Ariel -- 0 comments

February 10th, 2008

How Orgasmic Is Your Plasma TV?

A recent British survey has revealed an interesting statistic.  Almost half of men in the UK would be willing to give up sex for six months in exchange for a 50-inch plasma screen TV.
I guess guzzling beer, eating nachos, and watching football (whether of the American or European variety) is really that good on […]

By Ariel -- 0 comments

February 1st, 2008

Carl Gets Excited About the Super Bowl

For those of you who have been living in a non-professional sports bubble, or a non-world bubble for that matter, the Super Bowl is coming this Sunday.  In this year’s match-up puts the New England Patriots head-to-head with the New York Giants.
For those of you who know me or this site, you will know that […]

By Ariel -- 3 comments

January 4th, 2008

ESPN Couch Potato Winner Announced

It was only a few days ago that we reported that ESPN Zone was holding a competition in New York City’s Times Square to determine the ultimate couch potato.  Well, a winner has been announced.
The inglorious prize goes to Stan Friedman who sat out his competition in 29 hours with only scheduled bathroom breaks […]

By Ariel -- 4 comments

January 1st, 2008

ESPN Couch Potato Championship

It’s hard to believe that we in America could get any lazier, but this competition put on by ESPN puts that proposition seriously in doubt. 
The ESPN Zone Ultimate Couch Potato Competition, I kid you not, is being held today in Times Square in New York.  Four competitors will duke it out to prove who is […]

By Ariel -- 1 comment

December 21st, 2007

Playing with your Wii NOT Exercise

Aside from the crude and obvious jokes that this headline brings to mind, health experts in the UK have concluded that playing Nintendo Wii does not constitute rigorous exercise.  In fact, playing on this new Nintendo gaming console requires only 2% more energy on average than playing on more conventional boxes. 
So either flipping your thumbs […]

By Ariel -- 1 comment

December 18th, 2007

Carl from ATHF Responds to Mitchell Report

Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is really pissed off about the release of the Mitchell Report about steroid use in baseball’s major leagues.  Here he gives us some of his more ingenious insights. 
Man, I love this show.  Anyone know when the new season begins?

Tags: dumb news, mitchell report, carl, aqua teen hunger force, steroids
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By Ariel -- 0 comments

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