Simply Dumb

Under the “some people should not have children” category, we have this gem from Belgium. A mother was accused of selling her newborn twin sons in order to finance her liposuction surgery.
Apparently they research ways of making quick money. On the internet. And that’s what they came up with.
“Hey, honey.”
“What?”
“You’re fat.”
“Thanks, you’re such a thoughtful spouse. I’ve tried losing it. What should I do?”
“How about lipo?”
“Um, we have newborn babies. I don’t think we can afford it.”
“Let’s research it on the internet, the fount of useful and absolutely unimpeachable, truthful information!”
“That’s a great idea.”
Later…
“Babe, I’ve got it. Let’s sell the …read more

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In Genoa City or Pine Valley, it’s surprisingly easy to fake one’s own death. It’s kind of like the local amusement park ride, everybody’s done it at least once. In real life, it’s attempted way more than I ever knew and is never pulled off effectively.
Live Science has an interesting article on just how many folks have tried this and how sadly they have failed.
Faking one’s own death has come into the news most recently as Wall Street investor Marcus Shenker, wanted for well, being a Wall Street investor is enough these days, tried to fake …read more

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Alleged billionaire…
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Alleged billionaire fraudster Bernard ‘Bernie’ Madoff leaves Manhattan Federal court. Pictured: Bernard ‘Bernie’ Madoff Picture by: Splash News
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That’s the question on the table in Washington today. Lawmakers are trying to figure out how the Securities and Exchange Commission, a vital part of making sure our economy doesn’t collapse, has allowed our economy to collapse.
 Yahoo News reports many of the questions SEC officials will face …read more

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Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich leaves his home for work on December 12, 2008 in Chicago. President-elect Barack Obama has called on Blagojevich to resign after the…
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And that’s saying something, folks. There are calls from both sides of the aisle for embattled and embarrassed Gov. Rod Blagojevich to resign.  He was arrested last week for allegedly attempting to sell the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama’s election to …read more

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Sometimes school administrators just border on the ridiculous. This is one of those times.
A Florida student was arrested for some minor infractions. School authorities said he was passing gas and turning off other students’ computers.
Okay, so he was disruptive. And probably irritating. And smelly. Instead of giving him detention or sending him to the principal’s office, he was arrested by a school resource officer.
Unbelievable. Between this and students being charged with sexual harassment before they’re even old enough to know what it is, it’s no wonder people choose to home school.
[source] Image: Newscom

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I’m no PR major – I opted for the less financially sound but very rewarding field of journalism. Sigh. But it seems like if you’re going to jaunt on over to Washington to beg for $25 billion in taxpayer money, you might not want to take your expensive private jet.
The chief execs for the Big Three automakers came under fire after an ABC News report revealed they flew to Washington (while seeking financial aid from the government) in private jets. GM CEO Richard Wagoner’s flight alone cost an estimated $20,000. GM alone would like $10-12 billion.
Members of …read more

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Jailed former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick taunted prosecutors and talked of a comeback even as he got carted away today, according to the Detroit Free Press. Kilpatrick reached a plea deal last month pleading guilty to two felonies and no contest to a third.
He blamed the media and Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm for his fall from grace in a news conference in September. That’s even though he got caught having an affair with his chief of staff, Christine Beatty and lied about it under oath. His wife wasn’t complaining because he leased her a fancy Lincoln …read more

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AIG, you just won hundreds of billions of dollars in federal government bailout money? Are you going to Disneyworld? Hell to the no, Disney parks are for poor people.
Fresh off running the company into the ground and cheating investors out of millions, AIG held an event for independent life insurance agents this week. Reuters reports that at this posh event the company spent $200,000 on hotel rooms and $23,000 in spa services.
Gee, couldn’t they have paid a PR firm a few thousand to tell them what a bad idea that was? AIG says none of their execs went on this …read more

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If you’re a PETA member, I’m really sorry. Over the last decade or so this group has sadly become irrelevant, ridiculous and just plain stupid. Their recent exploits are no exception.
The group asked Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to use breast milk instead of cow’s milk in their ice cream products. The problem is, they’re usually serious when they pull bizarre stunts like this.
After a Swiss restaurant owner decided to substitute breast milk for about 75% of the cow’s milk in his restaurant’s food, PETA decided – in their own way – it was common sense to suggest to Ben …read more

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We really couldn’t believe this when we first read this. It’s one of those you-can’t-be-serious moments. A West Virginia man has been accused of passing gas and fanning it in the direction of a police officer. And for this, he was charged with battery. Seriously.
The man was pulled over for driving without headlights, but officers could smell alcohol on him, his speech was slurred, and he failed three sobriety tests. So they took him to the station for a breathalyzer test. And that was when he, um, broke wind. And fanned.
According to reports, the complaint said that the “gas was …read more

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