Simply Dumb

The winner of the comedy central dvd is …. comment #4, Vance!
I’ll be contacting you to get a mailing address. Thanks for playing!

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Don’t forget that there’s still time to enter our contest to win a Comedy Central dvd. Right now your odds of winning are pretty good!
Go check out the contest!

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In Genoa City or Pine Valley, it’s surprisingly easy to fake one’s own death. It’s kind of like the local amusement park ride, everybody’s done it at least once. In real life, it’s attempted way more than I ever knew and is never pulled off effectively.
Live Science has an interesting article on just how many folks have tried this and how sadly they have failed.
Faking one’s own death has come into the news most recently as Wall Street investor Marcus Shenker, wanted for well, being a Wall Street investor is enough these days, tried to fake …read more

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Yeah, now he’s official. Associated Press reports that Argentine president Cristina Fernandez met with former President Fidel Castro who reiterated his endorsement of President Barack Obama.
Coming soon, no doubt, are good words from the ghost of Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson and the TBS executive that keeps greenlighting Tyler Perry sitcoms. We have to take Fernandez’s word that Fidel is in good health despite rumors he is ill and Simply Dumb’s sneaking suspicion he died sometime last year and is still ruling the country through the years of accumulated jackassery he’s banked.
Hey, don’t laugh too …read more

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As the saying goes, you need a license to fish but having a child has no requirements. California’s WTOP reports on this bizarre case of alleged bad parenting. Police said a 36-year-old Greenfield man arranged to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Seems he got arrested before he could throw the obligatory “I Just Sold My Teenage Daughter for Alcohol and Beef” Barbecue Event. It gets worse. Police found out about the case when the hubby-to-be reneged on the deal. The daddy then went to the police to see …read more

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Made To Order Sex…
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Made To Order Sex Dolls…
TOKYO – JUNE 16: Life size sex dolls are displayed at Orient Industry’s showroom on June 16, 2007 in…
Photo by Koichi…

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I am already shuddering at the comment spam this story is going to draw. But the Cairns Post reports that a man is breaking into local sex shops and well, I”m not going to sugarcoat it. He’s breaking into sex shops and having sex with …read more

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Admit it. When you get a package with bubble wrap in it, you or one of your family members takes the wrap and pops all of the bubbles. What, you don’t do that? Man, people in our family fight over the bubble wrap!
And for those people, a New York City man designed the perfect calendar. It’s a poster-sized calendar with a bubble for each day of the year. Just make sure you don’t pop them all on the first day, or you won’t have much to look forward to!
Apparently he’s already sold thousands of the calendars, which range in …read more

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Detroit Lions fans show their frustration in the second half of the Lions 42-7 loss to the New Orleans Saints on Sunday, December 21, 2008, at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan. (Julian H….
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At Simply Dumb, we are all about athletic achievement. Oh, not the kind that folks ordinarily celebrate. No, we’re more into guys shooting into the wrong basket, running the wrong way and generally doing things that earn ridicule.
It’s not …read more

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A little boy wrote to Santa in hopes of improving his family’s Christmas. His letter was found by postals workers and The Fresno Bee ran a copy. (What happened to opening mail being a crime? Not that we’re complaining in this case. But what makes Santa letters exempt?)
The boy wrote in his letter that he didn’t have clothes or toys. And his dad couldn’t find work in their small California farm town. And worse, people made fun of him because his dad found clothes for him in the trash – where the father also looks for bottles.
In the spirit of …read more

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Here’s a very bizarre story of mistaken identity from the Houston Press blog. It seems some Galveston police were responding to a call complaining about prostitution. They went to the wrong address and allegedly attacked 12-year-old Dymond Milburn in the process of trying to arrest her.
Not only were the officers apparently at the wrong house, the callers complaining described White suspects and Dymond is African-American.  A statement by the officers claims they thought the girl was a prostitute because of the “tight shorts” she was wearing. Sigh. It gets even worse than that.  You’d think the …read more

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