Simply Dumb

As the saying goes, you need a license to fish but having a child has no requirements. California’s WTOP reports on this bizarre case of alleged bad parenting. Police said a 36-year-old Greenfield man arranged to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Seems he got arrested before he could throw the obligatory “I Just Sold My Teenage Daughter for Alcohol and Beef” Barbecue Event. It gets worse. Police found out about the case when the hubby-to-be reneged on the deal. The daddy then went to the police to see …read more

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Made To Order Sex Dolls…
TOKYO – JUNE 16: Life size sex dolls are displayed at Orient Industry’s showroom on June 16, 2007 in…
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I am already shuddering at the comment spam this story is going to draw. But the Cairns Post reports that a man is breaking into local sex shops and well, I”m not going to sugarcoat it. He’s breaking into sex shops and having sex with …read more

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Khalil Semhat of Tyre, Lebanon says he didn’t use any chemicals or do anything special to grow an absolute monstrosity of a vegetable.  AFP reports the farmer grew a 24.9 lb. tater that was so big it took two men to pull it from the ground. And no, if you pull a 25 pound potato out of the ground you do not become King of Lebanon. We did the research.
He’s hoping this super-sized spud can get him …read more

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Imagine the surprise doctors got as they operated on a woman for a brain tumor and instead found a worm. That’s right, a worm.
An Arizona woman was having blurred vision and numbness in her arm. She’d had a cat scan and even went to the ER twice. Doctors didn’t see anything. Until they took a better look at an MRI. And then they decided that something was wrong. Really wrong. They weren’t sure what it was, but there was a ‘thing’ way down in her brain stem.
So they operated. They were surprised at what they found. And relieved. In …read more

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Neighbors wondered if something funny was going on, but when Margaret Berstorff reassured them that things were fine, they left her alone. Even when they no longer saw her brother, Frank, no one came over to check. After all, Margaret told them that Frank had gone to live out of state.
And when the other sister Anita stopped going out on the porch, neighbors again inquired. Margaret told them that Anita was afraid of the outdoors. The neighbors didn’t want to be nosy after all. And why wouldn’t they believe her? It was perfectly plausible.
Besides, no one was ever invited inside …read more

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I swear some of these stories make you want to avoid animals and people altogether. An Arizona jogger was attacked by a rabid fox on a trail near Prescott. The animal clamped onto her arm – and she ran a mile to her car with the fox still attached.
The jogger pried the fox off of her, tossed it in her trunk, and then drove to the hospital. While she was running, the fox bit her foot. And when she grabbed it by the neck, it then bit her arm. She wanted to make sure it was tested for rabies, so …read more

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Anytime you feel like you have too much on your plate, be thankful you’re not Matani Shakya. Reuters reports the 3-year-old girl from Nepal was named a Kumari, or “living goddess,” on Tuesday.
She will be worshipped as a living incarnation of the Hindu deity Taleju until she reaches puberty. Sheesh, no pressure there. Say, we came to pray to Taleju. Taleju is going potty right now, she’ll be with you in a second.

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Tell me how this happened. No really, I must know. Because I am just shaking my head at this one, folks. The lack of detail makes me a bit suspicious.
A 16-year-old Nebraska boy almost had his spine severed when he fell on a deer antler in his family’s home. Reports say the boy was attempting to enter the family mobile home and was accidentally impaled.
The antler was a reminder of a car accident involving a deer and the boy’s grandmother was keeping it as memorabilia.
WTH? No, seriously, WTH?
First, where in the heck was this deer antler that a 16-year-old could …read more

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David Blaine is an illusionist notorious for his crazy stunts. He has stayed underwater for a week, stood on a 90-foot pillar for 35 hours, spent 61 hours inside a block of ice, and put himself in a box above the Thames for 44 hours. In other words, he does some weird things.
And right now he is planning to keep himself above a New York ice skating rink for 60 hours. Oh, and he’ll be upside down. Surprisingly, I haven’t seen much about this in a lot of news outlets. Usually the news reports something about his craziness. Maybe they’re …read more

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How does one become the World Burrito Eating Champion? To best the man known as “Eater X,” Tim Janus, you’ll have to put away at least twelve 18 oz. burritos in a little over 10 minutes.
That’s the feat of stomach stupendousness Janus laid out today, according to Portland, Maine’s ABC 8 WMTW. South Portland hosted some competitive eating events today, with Mexican restaurant Costa Vida hosting the Burrito Championship.When the 10-minute time period ended, there was a two-way tie between Janus and another eater. Janus was declared the winner of a two-man eat-off. His victory …read more

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