Simply Dumb

Under the “some people should not have children” category, we have this gem from Belgium. A mother was accused of selling her newborn twin sons in order to finance her liposuction surgery.
Apparently they research ways of making quick money. On the internet. And that’s what they came up with.
“Hey, honey.”
“What?”
“You’re fat.”
“Thanks, you’re such a thoughtful spouse. I’ve tried losing it. What should I do?”
“How about lipo?”
“Um, we have newborn babies. I don’t think we can afford it.”
“Let’s research it on the internet, the fount of useful and absolutely unimpeachable, truthful information!”
“That’s a great idea.”
Later…
“Babe, I’ve got it. Let’s sell the …read more

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Here’s a very bizarre story of mistaken identity from the Houston Press blog. It seems some Galveston police were responding to a call complaining about prostitution. They went to the wrong address and allegedly attacked 12-year-old Dymond Milburn in the process of trying to arrest her.
Not only were the officers apparently at the wrong house, the callers complaining described White suspects and Dymond is African-American.  A statement by the officers claims they thought the girl was a prostitute because of the “tight shorts” she was wearing. Sigh. It gets even worse than that.  You’d think the …read more

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O.J. Simpson already pulled an incredibly boneheaded move in his attempted robbery to recover his own sports mementos. But Associated Press reports prosecutors offered Simpson a plea deal that would have cut down his time. Simpson refused it, his lawyer saying there was nothing in the deal that was acceptable.
Gee, after Simpson got a sentence between nine and 33-years I’ll bet whatever the prosecutors offered looks pretty good. The fallen football star will be at least 70 before he’s even eligible for parole. And since he got convicted of violent felonies “good time” credits won’t be …read more

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If you have a weak stomach, you may just want to move along from this story, folks. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
A man and his wife plan to sue a Sydney pub after they were served gelato with frozen fecal matter in it. Yes, even the state government food minister confirmed that the chocolate gelato contained feces. The wife became “violently ill” after eating it.
Reportedly, the couple complained to the pub because they couldn’t hear a televised football game – too much loud music. The gelato was sent to placate them. And this wasn’t just any hotel, but one of …read more

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Just like you should watch for flying objects at a baseball game, you really should keep your eyes open at a strip club. You never know what might fly at your head.
A man in Florida is suing the Booby Trap, a strip club, because a performer’s shoe flew off during a pole dance. He claims the shoe shattered a mirrored ceiling. The shoe and broken glass hit him.
We’re trying really hard not to snicker here. Okay, we’re seriously failing.
Hey, falling glass can be dangerous and we totally get that. But the man is suing the club for $15,000 because the …read more

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Oh, this Austin police officer is going to get all kinds of grief. Deservedly, we might add.
Jason Bryant, a narcotics officer, was waiting to testify in court in a felony cocaine possession case. He had to use the facilities. But he forgot one thing – his gun.
Someone found the gun and called the sheriff’s office. But before they arrived, Bryant realized that he’d left the gun and went back to retrieve it. He told superiors that he had set the gun down because he couldn’t use the toilet with the gun weighing down his pants.
And because his weapon interferes with …read more

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A pizza delivery man in Australia is going to have to find another way to deliver pizzas – or find another job. While on his way to deliver a pie, he was caught going 33 miles (53 km) over the speed limit. Ouch – that’s about 82 in a 50 mile zone.
And get this, not only was he just 20 years old, but he had a provisional license. But hey, he was 20 minutes late getting the pizza out, so he had to speed, right?
Police waited for the man to finish delivering pizza before stopping him. And on his way …read more

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You hear noises coming from your teenage daughter’s room. It sounds a bit strange. Is she okay? Is she hurt? You’d better investigate.
You go to her room, open the door and find… a naked boy standing on your daughter’s bed. So what do you do?
Whack him with a lead pipe. Of course.
A man in Florida is actually being charged with aggravated battery on a child because he hit a boy on the head with a pipe. A boy he didn’t know, who was in his teenage daughter’s room in the middle of the night.
While we don’t …read more

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During the summer, car interior temps can soar. Quickly. In fact, temps can increase by 20 degrees every 30 minutes a car is closed up. And children’s bodies warm 3-5 times as fast as an adult’s does. And that means heat stroke can come about much quicker for kids than for adults. An average of 36 children per year die from heat overexposure (hyperthermia) – and it’s almost always due to a kid being left in a car.
But a Florida grandmother apparently didn’t think about any of that when she left her two grandchildren in her car. While she gambled …read more

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Kevin Federline is getting child support from Britney Spears. To the tune of $20,000 per month. And that’s a $5,000/month bump from last year.
Is it just me or is that a crazy amount of child support? Oh sure, Spears probably has a lot of money from when, you know, she actually sang and gave concerts. We’re not saying she shouldn’t be paying that to support her children. Maybe she should.
But do you know anyone who would need $20K a month for two kids? I bet most people we know could make that last 5 months at minimum. The amounts of …read more

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