Simply Dumb

Under the “some people should not have children” category, we have this gem from Belgium. A mother was accused of selling her newborn twin sons in order to finance her liposuction surgery.
Apparently they research ways of making quick money. On the internet. And that’s what they came up with.
“Hey, honey.”
“What?”
“You’re fat.”
“Thanks, you’re such a thoughtful spouse. I’ve tried losing it. What should I do?”
“How about lipo?”
“Um, we have newborn babies. I don’t think we can afford it.”
“Let’s research it on the internet, the fount of useful and absolutely unimpeachable, truthful information!”
“That’s a great idea.”
Later…
“Babe, I’ve got it. Let’s sell the …read more

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In Genoa City or Pine Valley, it’s surprisingly easy to fake one’s own death. It’s kind of like the local amusement park ride, everybody’s done it at least once. In real life, it’s attempted way more than I ever knew and is never pulled off effectively.
Live Science has an interesting article on just how many folks have tried this and how sadly they have failed.
Faking one’s own death has come into the news most recently as Wall Street investor Marcus Shenker, wanted for well, being a Wall Street investor is enough these days, tried to fake …read more

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As the saying goes, you need a license to fish but having a child has no requirements. California’s WTOP reports on this bizarre case of alleged bad parenting. Police said a 36-year-old Greenfield man arranged to sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage for $16,000, 100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Seems he got arrested before he could throw the obligatory “I Just Sold My Teenage Daughter for Alcohol and Beef” Barbecue Event. It gets worse. Police found out about the case when the hubby-to-be reneged on the deal. The daddy then went to the police to see …read more

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Boy, Barack Obama has got to be really nervous right now. We’ve learned that if you want to take down the President of the United States, apparently all that’s needed is to attach a weapon to your shoe.
By now you have no doubt seen the footage of the Iraqi reporter hurling footwear at the esteemed leader of the free world. This guy gets both shoes off before anyone stops him and it wasn’t even a Secret Service agent that stopped him. It was another reporter who blocked the line of sight to the Prez.
Seriously gang, in …read more

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A lot of people get cold feet when it’s time to say “I do.” We’ve all heard of it. And most brides and grooms either get over it or they cancel the wedding. Or maybe just don’t show. Or run off with someone else.
But I think this is the first time we’ve heard of someone setting fire to the hotel to avoid a wedding ceremony.
A Japanese man set a hotel on fire over the weekend in order to avoid his nuptials later in the day. Oh and here’s the kicker: he was already married.
So let’s get …read more

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Folks, we can’t make these up even if we try.
A man in Michigan was arrested for receiving sexual favors from a car wash vacuum hose. You know, the kind you pop a quarter in so you can clean your rugs? Yeah, one of those.
Think you’ll ever use one again? Yeah, us neither.
The 29-year-old man was arrested after someone called reporting suspicious activity at the car wash. So an officer went in on foot and caught him, um, in the act.
Aren’t you glad sometimes that you’re not a police officer? There are some things a human being should be spared seeing.
And …read more

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I may never eat food prepared on the grill again after this story. May none of us ever get so desperate that we do something so creepy and, well, wrong.
A family in Northern California decided to cremate their elderly mom after she died. Hey, lots of people get cremated, right? Yup. Except this was a do-it-yourself cremation. They wanted to keep collecting her retirement checks – to the tune of $25,000 – and disposed of her body on a makeshift barbecue.
The woman’s daughter and grandson were arrested for embezzlement, disposing of a body without a permit, and elder abuse. It’s …read more

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You know, there are times we couldn’t make this stuff up if we tried. And why should we make it up when there is more than enough of “teh crazy” to go around? There are all kinds of crazy name-changing stories. Here’s one more for you.
Ah, remember what it’s like to be 19-years-old? So idealistic and ready to change the world? And maybe just a wee bit misguided.
Jennifer Thornburg of Asheville, North Carolina decided to change her name to reflect her activism for animal cruelty. She was an intern recently for PETA. And that group runs a particular activist site: …read more

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If you’re a PETA member, I’m really sorry. Over the last decade or so this group has sadly become irrelevant, ridiculous and just plain stupid. Their recent exploits are no exception.
The group asked Ben & Jerry’s ice cream to use breast milk instead of cow’s milk in their ice cream products. The problem is, they’re usually serious when they pull bizarre stunts like this.
After a Swiss restaurant owner decided to substitute breast milk for about 75% of the cow’s milk in his restaurant’s food, PETA decided – in their own way – it was common sense to suggest to Ben …read more

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I’m not sure whether this is a study in psychology or a sad commentary on the current price of gas. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. CNN reports that in Nashville on Friday somehow the rumor got out that the city would be out of gas within a matter of hours.
The rumor began snowballing towards truth when people began to panic and there was a run on area gas stations. It reportedly got so bad that …read more

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