Sigh, things like this make me embarrassed to be a gamer. It seems a 15-year-old Swedish kid collapsed last month after a 24-hour marathon of the new World of Warcraft expansion Wrath of the Lich King.

He reportedly had almost no food and only a couple of hours sleep during that period of time and power leveled his way right into a seizure of some sort. Kids of the world, Red Bull is not a food group and you are not a Blood Elf.  You require sleep, proper sustenance and yes, even sunlight on occasion.

The popular online role-playing game is often called “Warcrack” because of its reportedly addictive properties. And before you think I’m piling on, I’m a gamer too. But everything in moderation. If you’re spending that much time on the WOW video game you’re not devoting enough time to the WOW card game or the collectible miniatures game.

Now that’s all I have to say about that. I have to get back to Civilization:Revolution. Julius Caesar just declared war on the Mongols and I promised to help him out.

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An Arizona woman was having blurred vision and numbness in her arm. She’d had a cat scan and even went to the ER twice. Doctors didn’t see anything. Until they took a better look at an MRI. And then they decided that something was wrong. Really wrong. They weren’t sure what it was, but there was a ‘thing’ way down in her brain stem.

So they operated. They were surprised at what they found. And relieved. In fact, the surgeon started chuckling! Now that’s a strange response. We think that would be a little disconcerting. Who wants a surgeon to chuckle after cracking open your skull? But he was pleased that it was a worm - something they can remove, something the patient can heal from. A brain stem tumor could be difficult to remove, and dangerous.

Wow. That just really icks us out. Brings new mental pictures to the words “brain worm” - or even “ear worm.”

Doctors aren’t sure how the patient got the worm, but they figured it was most likely due to undercooked pork or improper hand washing.We’ll be washing our hands a lot, thankyouverymuch. Here’s wishing we could scrub our brain of that mental image, too.

[source] Image: Newscom

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Phillip Sherman left his cell phone at a McDonald’s back in July. He called the restaurant and was assured that they would secure his phone until he could return. But before he could retrieve the phone, nude pictures of his wife were taken and posted online.

Sherman’s wife, Tina, started receiving calls and text messages about the pics, which is when she learned they had been posted. Along with her name, address, and phone number. Yikes.

The Shermans are suing the restaurant, McDonald’s Corp., and the manager. They claim that they were so embarrassed that they needed to move.

Lessons to be learned from this:

Never, ever send naked pics of yourself to your spouse’s cell phone.

If you do send the pics, don’t lose the cell phone.

If you lose the phone, don’t be surprised if the pics end up on the internet.

Should the employees have posted the pics? No. But posting her name, address, and phone number? Way, way worse.

Truly, the employees shouldn’t have even looked at the phone at all. What were they thinking? Stupid move, people. Really stupid move.

[source] Image: Newscom

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A Florida student was arrested for some minor infractions. School authorities said he was passing gas and turning off other students’ computers.

Okay, so he was disruptive. And probably irritating. And smelly. Instead of giving him detention or sending him to the principal’s office, he was arrested by a school resource officer.

Unbelievable. Between this and students being charged with sexual harassment before they’re even old enough to know what it is, it’s no wonder people choose to home school.

[source] Image: Newscom

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With President George Bush’s term winding down, Reuters reports a few famous faces are seeking the grace of a presidential pardon. They include Marion “I Had No Idea That Was Steroids Causing My Muscles to Swell Up” Jones and the American Taliban himself, John Walker Lindh.

Yeah, I have no idea why John Walker Lindh bothered. The American Taliban has about as much chance of getting a pardon from The Decider as Nick Nolte has of getting voted The Sexiest Man Alive next year. Ask any Texas Death Row inmate about the odds of getting a pardon from W. Lindh should consider himself fortunate he hasn’t gone before a firing squad yet.

And I don’t know what Marion is thinking. She won’t even admit that she knowingly took steroids. I’m not the president (as Simply Dumb’s grassroots election campaign didn’t go off this year) but it seems like any pardon should require her to at least admit wrongdoing. Athletes don’t put substances into their body they know nothing about. And truth be told, a lot of pro athletes know as much about pharmaceuticals as any doctor could ever hope to.

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I’m no PR major - I opted for the less financially sound but very rewarding field of journalism. Sigh. But it seems like if you’re going to jaunt on over to Washington to beg for $25 billion in taxpayer money, you might not want to take your expensive private jet.

The chief execs for the Big Three automakers came under fire after an ABC News report revealed they flew to Washington (while seeking financial aid from the government) in private jets. GM CEO Richard Wagoner’s flight alone cost an estimated $20,000. GM alone would like $10-12 billion.

Members of Congress let their displeasure at the display of wealth be known.

“It’s like seeing a guy show up at a soup kitchen in high hat and tuxedo,”  Rep. Gary Ackerman (D-N.Y.) said. He asked if the group could have, you know, downgraded to a first-class flight. Or perhaps jetpooled.

Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) asked if any of the three execs would be willing to sell their jets and fly back commercial. There was nothing but silence and stunned looks from the CEOs.

Folks, this kind of financial mismanagement and the apparent indifference to it is why the auto industry is in the shape it is.

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And when the other sister Anita stopped going out on the porch, neighbors again inquired. Margaret told them that Anita was afraid of the outdoors. The neighbors didn’t want to be nosy after all. And why wouldn’t they believe her? It was perfectly plausible.

Besides, no one was ever invited inside the home. Not even contractors.

Imagine the shock waves throughout the neighborhood when police found three corpses in the home. That of Frank, Anita, and another sibling, Elaine, who hadn’t been seen since the 1980s.

No one’s sure why the bodies were still inside the home. They were discovered when Margaret started becoming frail and sought help from an advocate for the elderly.

Man, talk about just a little bit creepy! We know people who are extremely private, but this really takes the cake.

[source] [Image: Newscom]

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PHILADELPHIA - OCTOBER 26: Quarterback Donovan McNabb #5 of the Philadelphia Eagles watches from the sideline during the game against the Atlanta Falcons on October 26, 2008 at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Chris Trotman/Getty Images)

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Donovan McNabb has earned himself a good shot to be Simply Dumb’s Athlete of the Year by admitting he didn’t know the NFL’s rules regarding overtime.

His miscue loomed even larger when McNabb’s Philadelphia Eagles played to a sudden death overtime tie with the Cincinnati Bengals.  The league only plays one OT to decide things while McNabb wanted to just keep playing. The Eagles are desperately fighting for a playoff berth. The Bengals, as usual, are fighting for nothing but the first pick in the NFL Draft.

McNabb’s coach Andy Reid leapt to his signal caller’s defense, no doubt because the prospect of a tie is something the coach and the QB might have discussed beforehand. Reid is now on the hot seat as much as McNabb is. Reid swears that McNabb wouldn’t have played any differently had he actually - ya know, known the rules of the game he gets paid millions to play.

Really, Andy? There is no difference between the drive you run in the first quarter of the game and the one you run when you’re about to tie one of the worst teams in football? Does the phrase “sense of urgency” have any meaning in the Eagle locker room? If that’s true, it really may be time to send both McNabb and Reid packing. Neither of them probably realizes they’re in trouble, though. We tried to reach Bengals superstar Chad Ocho Cinco for comment, but he was busy looking into celebrations for the touchdowns he used to score.

That bizarre scenario would have been more than enough to earn NFL Week 11 Simply Dumb honors. But the ending of another close game between Pittsburgh and San Diego has the world talking, and most aren’t saying anything good.

That is, unless you had money on the Chargers losing by less than 4 points. For reasons that may forever be unknown, a fumble recovery for a Troy Polamalu touchdown got overturned. The referees confabbed, instant replayed it and somehow still got the controversial call wrong.

Refs claimed one of the laterals San Diego threw before the fumble was an illegal forward pass. This negated the Steeler TD and took seven points off the board. Gamblers lost hundreds of millions. We’re not saying that was part of the refs’ decision like some NFL conspiracy theorists, it’s just funny to us. Replays showed the refs were thinking - we don’t know what they were thinking as the pass was pretty clearly backward. Which is, as you may have heard, the complete opposite of backward. It’s also a shame because the ruling negated the only really exciting play in an 11-10 snoozer.

The NFL released a statement admitting the refs blew the call. It’s one of many calls the zebras have flubbed this year even with the benefit of instant replay. The league is looking at rules changes that may include a second instant replay for controversial calls. Who other than beer companies advertising during the commercial breaks wants another way to slow down an NFL game? What would enable the refs to magically see something different the third time they look at an important play?

“The initial ruling and subsequent replay were just for funsies, y’all. We’re going to quit drinking and get serious about the call now, we swear. And Hochuli, turn your hat around! No more tomfoolery.”

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Yahoo Finance has a very interesting piece about the 10 Cars That Sank Detroit. I owned a couple of these and the Hummer was not one of them. Even when gas was under $2 a gallon, that thing just seemed gaudy and unnecessary to me. Great car for a rapper, not so much for normal folk.

But you know what? We’ve got to stop giving these companies billion dollar handouts. If they want some money, let them earn it. I say we make the Big Three put together their best demolition cars and we have them fight it out, Death Race style. Winner gets bailed out, losers get to go bankrupt. Can you imagine the ad dollars that would get poured into that? We could even have celebrity drivers like Britney Spears. Have your people call my people, American auto industry. We’ll do lunch, run this thing up the flagpole and see how it flies.

Image by arwensouth licensed under Creative Commons.

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LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 21: Judge Glenda Hatchett arrives at the Black Enterprises Top 50 Hollywood Power Brokers Celebration at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel on February 21, 2007 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Charley Gallay/Getty Images)

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My wife records court shows. I’m not sure why. They’re OK to watch if absolutely nothing else is on, but I’ve never found myself thinking “I can’t miss this paternity test, it must be preserved for posterity.” But amid Judge Joe Brown declaring men scoundrels and Judge Judy’s impromptu weather forecasts (Don’t pee on her leg and tell her it’s raining!) I have developed an unexpected celebrity crush.

Oh, Judge Hatchett, the queen of the TV courtroom. Her passion burns brightly when those civil court miscreants give her lies and alibis. Her eyes sparkle when she declares “he is NOT this child’s father!” The law has just never, ever been quite so sexy. I just melt when she tells people not to come into her courtroom and play games with her. Oh, I wouldn’t dare, Judge Hatchett. I wouldn’t dare.

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